What’s more tired: Die Hard scenarios or Steven Seagal? We get both in Half Past Dead, an endlessly silly shoot-’em-up in which Seagal plays an undercover FBI agent imprisoned on reopened Alcatraz Island. Seagal’s co-star is rapper Ja Rule, and the two make a ludicrous pair. The well-past-his-prime Seagal tries to hide his burgeoning belly beneath prisoner’s garb, while the slightly built Ja Rule appears to be wearing his father’s suit. You’d have to be pretty desperate for an action fix to sign up for
this.
