Watching The Animal – in which Rob Schneider plays a would-be cop who survives a car accident by having animal parts put into his body – is like witnessing the slow, excruciating death of a single joke over the course of 83 minutes. For every gag that works – yes, I laughed when Schneider combs his mop of hair with a horse’s brush – there’s about 400 more in the same vein.