White Noise (2005)

Horror Rated PG-13

Michael Keaton is far more effective as a tormenting figure than a tormented one, which makes his role here as an architect who starts hearing voices of the dead in static an inherently ill fit. Having Beetlejuice and the best brooding Batman scared silly by spooky noises doesn’t quite fit. Keaton is maddeningly passive, possibly

Love Don’t Cost a Thing (2003)

Comedy Rated PG-13

Operating under the apparent belief that every generation needs its own insipid teen comedy, Warner Bros. Pictures has remade 1987’s Can’t Buy Me Love, in which a dorky teen (Nick Cannon this time) pays the most popular girl in school to date him. Sure, the earlier Patrick Dempsey flick has its defenders – most likely

Black Knight (2001)

Comedy Rated PG-13

Another laughless affair from Martin Lawrence, who stars as a Renaissance theme-park employee who is transported to actual medieval times. Lawrence pulls out his usual bag of tired tricks – bugging his eyes out, screaming dated hip-hop slang until his voice is hoarse – with the usual, uninspired results.

Love Actually (2003)

Romantic Comedy Rated R

Screenwriter Richard Curtis (Four Weddings and a Funeral) makes his directorial debut with another whimsical love story grounded in emotional authenticity. The film follows nearly a half-dozen intertwining stories – featuring Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Laura Linney, among others – woven together with a shameless yet soothing pop soundtrack and a charming

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights (2004)

Drama Rated PG-13

Havana Nights adds tropical heat to what already was, in the 1987 original, an overheated story. Set in 1958 Cuba, the movie follows an American high-schooler (Romola Garai) who moves with her family to Havana and finds excitement with a busboy (Diego Luna). It’s often silly, but the music and dancing are infectious, and there’s

Luther (2003)

Drama Rated PG-13

How do you turn historical theology into gripping cinema? According to Luther, haul out the fancy clothes. A biopic about the life of Martin Luther (Joseph Fiennes) – the 16th-century monk who split apart the Catholic church by arguing Christians earned salvation by faith, not works – Luther is a staid, somber costume epic whose

First Descent (2005)

Documentary Rated PG-13

This thrilling sports documentary outlines the history of snowboarding through 2005, which comes across as something Icarus might have tried if he had lived in a colder clime. It may seem a stretch to reference Greek mythology when talking about a sport that was once looked upon with scorn by the skiing establishment, but the

National Lampoon’s Van Wilder (2002)

Comedy Rated R

This dreadful piece of dreck, about a perpetual big man on campus (Ryan Reynolds) in his seventh academic year, arrived within two months of fellow collegiate comedies Slackers and Sorority Boys, meaning Hollywood was pumping out lame teen vehicles faster than I could dismiss them. Still, here goes: If you added up the good jokes

Hoodwinked (2005)

Family Rated PG

This Shrek wannabe doesn’t really work for parents or kids, largely because it strains so hard to include Mom and Dad in on the fun. An elaborate reworking of the Little Red Riding Hood fable, the computer-animated venture runs on obvious, self-reflexive humor and aggressive visual gags (the filmmakers fall just short of paying off

Perfect Man, The (2005)

Romantic Comedy Rated PG

Hilary Duff plays a teen who invents a secret admirer for her mother (Heather Locklear), and the sheer desperation of Locklear’s character gives this otherwise unremarkable Duff vehicle an icky atmosphere. The woman badgers her daughter into scanning her photo and posting it on Match.com; she lobbies the school board to form single-parent mixers; and