I’m less of a fan than most people of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies—both the first film and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 are among the most callously violent MCU installments—yet even I was taken aback by the unpleasantness of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. The main plot involves the origin story of Rocket Raccoon (voiced by Bradley Cooper). Kidnapped as a tiny, wide-eyed kit, Rocket is experimented on by a deranged scientist known as The High Evolutionary (a screaming Chukwudi Iwuji) who dreams of populating a utopian planet with his “genetic upgrades.” This means frequent flashbacks to baby Rocket and other animals being tortured (his cage-mates are an otter with robot arms, a rabbit with metallic spider legs, and a walrus with wheels instead of flippers). Much of Vol. 3 feels like a combination of those exploitative ads from animal shelters and the Japanese body-horror endurance test Tetsuo: The Iron Man. Aside from that, the movie offers about 3,000 subplots and 2,000 supporting characters, including the rest of the Guardians (Chris Pratt’s Peter Quill, Dave Bautista’s Drax, and Pom Klementieff’s Mantis provide some much-needed comic relief) and new figures like the golden-skinned Adam Warlock (amusingly played by Will Poulter as an all-powerful dim bulb). James Gunn returns as co-writer and director, presiding over a good hour of constant chaos in the film’s second half, which inelegantly edits together some six parallel action sequences. The movie ends with a Shrek-like dance number to Florence + the Machine’s “Dog Days Are Over” that goes on for approximately 45 minutes, which is odd because the song itself only lasts four minutes and 13 seconds.
(4/29/2023)
