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Piranha

 

Sure, Piranha was an early film from Gremlins director Joe Dante. And yes, the screenplay is by eventual indie stalwart John Sayles (Sunshine State). But in the end this is still a shoddy Jaws knockoff from exploitation producer Roger Corman. It’s silly, and only occasionally in the right, knowing way.

After a prologue featuring a particularly clueless pair of early victims – let’s just say it’s probably not wise to go skinny dipping in a pool on an abandoned military test site – Piranha unleashes its swarm of killer fish on an unsuspecting river community, including an idyllic summer camp. Blood is in the water – bubbling and churning as if the military-grade fish had also attained hot tub technology. The only people alarmed by any of this are a ditzy private investigator (Heather Menzies, struggling to suppress a smile) and a boozy mountain man (Bradford Dillman, looking as if he’d swallowed Charlton Heston and is now constipated) .

The chewing – incessant and accompanied by a buzz on the soundtrack – is disturbing, especially when Piranha is vicious enough to let those summer camp kiddies get bit . The movie haunted me for days after I stumbled upon the film on television when I was a little kid, but its horror doesn’t stick the way it does in Jaws.

Of course, Dante and Sayles don’t mean for it to stick – that’s why they occasionally wink, as with the cheeky moment when a piranha leaps from the water and plants itself on a snotty camp counselor’s face. But this combination of terror and jokiness leaves Piranha somewhere in the middle: not quite a thriller, not quite a spoof. It’s a B movie all right – ever so slightly above average.

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