Did someone give a starring role to a Matador, one of the obese male cheerleaders who perform during time outs at Chicago Bulls’ games? One would be forgiven for mistaking Larry the Cable Guy – also known as Dan Whitney – for a Matador in Witless Protection, a farce built entirely around his repulsiveness. Like those routines at the Bulls games, the movie is a disturbing display of aggressive self-loathing that’s embarrassing for everyone involved – including the audience. Whitney plays a backwoods sheriff who gets caught up in an FBI scheme involving a glamorous star witness (Ivana Milicevic). When she isn’t gagging at the sight of Whitney shirtless or worse, she’s holding her nose in response to his various bodily functions.
