“The 52-year-old Cruise doesn’t look ridiculous at any point, which in itself is ridiculous.”

“…too little of the hammy delight of the original.”

“…fails to have enough fun with its one unique element: the sense of scale.”

“…the mercenary natures of the picture and the park are largely indistinguishable.”

“Narratively inept, unconvincingly edited and nearly deficient of suspense…”

“As much as you can point to the T-rex attack as a master class in action filmmaking, this still leaves a mechanized aftertaste.”

“There’s never any tension or suspense to the movie, because whatever Lucy faces, we know her big brain will inexplicably be able to handle it.”

“…a tale of milk and blood.”

“…essentially serves as the setup for the far superior Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior.”

“…a nutty, B-movie masterpiece.”